In true Virgo fashion, RM has flipped the outpouring of celebration for his 29th birthday into an existential reflection on what it means to love. The BTS member published a moving message to ARMY via WeVerse as he moves into the final year of his twenties. In it, the musician spoke candidly about the crucial lessons he has learned over the years, particularly from his interactions with those who have supported his music, both solo and with the group.

“This is the last birthday of my twenties. I don’t know whether it’s because of the peculiarities of the profession I’m in, but birthdays are always accompanied by a slight feeling of embarrassment. For me, it’s just a day like any other but.. because so many people wish me so sincerely, I feel quite happy and fortunate,” the artist, born Kim Namjoon, wrote.

“I want to be someone who is as honest as possible, but in this relationship between fan and artist, existing somewhere between the tangible and intangible, just what can we go beyond and what can we become? Is everything acceptable under the generous phantom label of ‘love’?” he asked. “I continue to have so many experiences where disclosure becomes weakness and honesty leads to hurt, but I still don’t really know.”

One major lesson RM learned is not to treat nonchalance and coldness as a marker of coolness. “I’ve said in the past that as time goes on, it becomes harder to say things and that makes me sad. I think that continues to be true,” he explained. “But I do think I’m a lot more level-headed now. The sincere feelings I once used to worry I would never receive now pour onto me like heavy rain. As a result, I realized that I, who used to think that it was cool to be a pessimist and think that nothing matters, am actually quite an optimist by nature. Isn’t this a miracle? These days, I live by the words ‘why not?'”

Thes pivotal lessons have inspired RM on a musical level, he shared, stating: “This optimism can be explained as a product of the love I receive from the people around me, and I am spreading it around. I am also putting it into the songs that will come out some day.” In December, RM released his official debut album, Indigo, which featured ruminations about similar themes.

For now, he’s focused on taking in the present moment and communicating this gratitude and personhood through as many mediums as possible. “Could there be a more beautiful way for me to be honest than through music? Everyone already knows this, but sometimes I feel like music alone is not enough. I wonder if that’s the reason why I became part of BTS,” he wondered. “To want to quench that thirst through multiple different means. Whether it’s through programs, interviews, dances or whatever it may be.. what a blessed life this is. And these things always make me want to look clearly at where I’ve come and think deeply about the place I’m in.”

He concluded the message with more affection, sharing: “Thanks to all of you, I’m living a really good life. I want to live a good life. All I have wanted each time is to just tell you I love you as the latest best version of myself. It’s probably impossible for me to hug each and every one of you, but the feelings I have go beyond that. I won’t ask you to love me in all of my different forms. However, since you do give me your love, I promise to do my best.”

Happy birthday RM!